Does This Really Matter? A Strategy to Avoid Unnecessary Stress
After my husband passed away last May, my perspective completely changed. While I am devastated from losing him, I gained a new perspective on how to handle everyday stressors. Early on, I found myself in conversations that I didn’t feel like I belonged in anymore. Conversations with people about everyday happenings such as being late for work, a child being sick and having to stay home from school, or a spouse being out of town leaving one parent at home to run the household. Yes, I am a mom so most of the everyday stressors I deal with revolve around children and child care.
I have realized that the things that used to stress me out don’t bother me anymore. Sometimes, I even become annoyed when others complain about everyday stressors. In my brain, my loss is the ultimate stressor, so simple things just don’t get to me anymore. Trash can pile up a bit, my house is messier, and if my car breaks down, I will get it fixed. When a new problem presents itself, I ask myself, “does this really matter?” Guess what? Most of the time it doesn’t. This shift in mindset has helped me to avoid unnecessary stressors allowing more space in my brain for problem solving and energy balance.
In the body, stress causes increased cortisol production which leads to higher blood sugar levels. It also leads to adrenaline release which causes the heart to beat faster and blood pressure to rise. Over time, chronic stress can cause health problems such as prediabetes, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. Read more about the body’s natural stress response HERE. When you see law enforcement officers with larger bellies, this is not because they spend their mornings at the donut shop. Rather, their jobs are so stressful that they operate daily with higher cortisol levels which causes them to retain fat, especially in the abdominal region. When fat accumulates around the midsection and vital organs, the risk of heart disease goes up. Now THAT is something to stress about!
My daughter stayed home from school “sick” yesterday. In the past, this would have sent my husband and I into a tizzy trying to figure out if she was too sick to go to school and who was going to stay home from work to care for her. Instead, I made the decision to keep her home, asked myself if this decision was going to negatively impact the rest of our day, week, or life (NO!), and decided not to stress over it. This type of thinking takes practice but it makes a HUGE difference. We had a nice day at home together even though I soon realized that I had been bamboozled and she really just had a case of the Mondays. Back to school for her today and on to the next for me!
Bottom line: I get to choose what I stress about. Stress does not get to choose me.